What Death Taught Me, and What No One Will Tell You
Life goes on – As brutal as it sounds, it does. The world will not pause for your grief. The earth keeps spinning, indifferent to the absence of those we loved, or our own departure.
Life is fragile – A heartbeat can be the difference between being here and being gone. The fragility of life is something we know, but it is rarely felt until it’s too late.
It changes nothing – Nothing will shift for you when death comes. No one will take your pain and carry it for you. The universe will not stop in its tracks, and God will not hold your hand and make the journey easier. Death doesn't alter your identity, your dreams, your goals—not unless you’re the one who has died.
It changes everything – And yet, in another sense, it does. Life shifts in a 180-degree turn, spiraling down a different, unpredictable path. The trajectory is suddenly different, irrevocably so.
You are the one in pain, not the one who is gone – As harsh as it seems, don’t feel sorry for them. They are no longer here to feel anything. It is you who carries the burden of loss.
Pain doesn’t lessen – Time doesn't heal; it merely allows the sharpness to dull. It will always hurt the same. But in the passing of time, your brain will curate the memories. You won’t forget, but you will live with other things. It’s not that the pain fades, but that life goes on, and you are supposed to go with it.
Nothing you do truly matters – So don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be paralyzed by the fear of taking risks, because, in the end, you will die anyway. Life is fragile—one moment here, the next, gone. It’s unfair, unpredictable. If you hesitate because you fear the weight of the world on your decision, don’t. It’s not as monumental as you think.
Cherish each moment with those you love – Tell them you love them, even too much. You can’t give too much love. Be vulnerable. Be unashamed. Don’t hold back. Make amends, mend rifts, because when they’re gone, there’s no opportunity to undo what was left unsaid or undone. Love deeply, and don't fear the inevitable loss that comes with it. Love doesn’t worsen the pain; it makes life worth living.
Accept that you are not in control – Life and death are not yours to govern. Do your best to protect yourself and the ones you love, but don’t carry the burden of regret. You are human, as fragile as the one you have lost. You are not in charge, and that’s something to accept.
